Learning to Love Myself: A Real Journey of Healing and Growth
For a long time, I thought self-love was about looking in the mirror and repeating affirmations until I believed them. However, the truth is that learning to love myself has been messy, challenging, and also the most critical work of my life.
Here are some of the biggest lessons I’ve learned so far:
1. Self-Validation Is Key
For years, I was waiting for someone else to tell me I was good enough. I thought approval had to come from outside — a parent, a partner, or society. But self-love began the moment I realized I didn’t need to be chosen by others to be worthy.
Now, I practice self-validation by reminding myself:
My feelings are real and essential.
I can trust my judgment.
I don’t have to explain my worth to anyone.
2. Regulating My Nervous System
Trauma and stress had me living in survival mode for years — anxious, reactive, and always on edge. Part of loving myself has been learning to calm my body and give it the safety signals it needs.
That looks like:
Taking slow breaths when I feel overwhelmed.
Grounding myself by noticing what I see, hear, and feel in the present moment.
Allowing rest without guilt.
When my nervous system is calmer, my mind is clearer, and I make better choices.
3. Celebrating Small Accomplishments
I used to dismiss my progress because it didn’t look “big enough.” But I’ve learned to celebrate the little wins: showing up for myself, keeping a promise to myself, or even just making it through a hard day.
Every small step matters. Every time I honour my growth, I strengthen my self-love.
4. Building Consistency with Self-Discipline and Self-Care
Self-love isn’t only soft and gentle — sometimes it’s also about discipline. For me, that means being consistent with routines that keep me grounded, such as journaling, exercising, drinking water, and attending therapy.
Discipline isn’t punishment. It’s a form of care — it’s me saying: I’m worth the effort, every day.
Final Thoughts
Self-love isn’t a single moment of “arrival.” It’s a daily practice of showing up for myself — validating my own worth, calming my body, celebrating my growth, and creating a consistent foundation of care.
I’m still learning, but now I know: the more I love myself, the more grounded, resilient, and at peace I become. And that’s a gift I’ll carry for the rest of my life.
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