Learning to Love Myself: A Real Journey of Healing and Growth
For a long time, I thought self-love was about looking in the mirror and repeating affirmations until I believed them. However, the truth is that learning to love myself has been messy and challenging.
Here are some of the biggest lessons I’ve learned so far:
1. Self-Validation Is Key
For years, I was waiting for someone else to tell me I was good enough. I thought approval had to come from outside — a parent, a partner, or society. But self-love began the moment I realised I didn’t need to be chosen by others to be worthy.
Now, I practice self-validation by reminding myself:
My feelings are real and essential.
I can trust my judgment.
I don’t have to explain my worth to anyone.
2. Regulating My Nervous System
Trauma and stress had me living in survival mode for years — anxious, reactive, and always on edge. Part of loving myself has been learning to calm my body and give it the safety signals it needs.
That looks like:
Taking slow breaths when I feel overwhelmed.
Grounding myself by noticing what I see, hear, and feel in the present moment.
Allowing rest without guilt.
When my nervous system is calmer, my mind is clearer, and I make better choices.
3. Celebrating Small Accomplishments
I used to dismiss my progress because it didn’t look “big enough.” But I’ve learned to celebrate the little wins: showing up for myself, keeping a promise to myself, or even just making it through a hard day.
Every small step matters. Every time I honour my growth, I strengthen my self-love.
4. Building Consistency with Self-Discipline and Self-Care
Self-love isn’t only soft and gentle — sometimes it’s also about discipline. For me, that means being consistent with routines that keep me grounded, such as journaling, exercising, drinking water, and attending therapy.
Discipline isn’t punishment. It’s a form of care — it’s me saying: I’m worth the effort, every day.
Final Thoughts
Self-love isn’t a single moment of “arrival.” It’s a daily practice of showing up for myself — validating my own worth, calming my body, celebrating my growth, and creating a consistent foundation of care.
I’m still learning, but now I know: the more I love myself, the more grounded, resilient, and at peace I become. And that’s a gift I’ll carry for the rest of my life.
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